Five Top Tips for a Long and Happy Marriage

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Since I am in my mid-twenties, most of my friends are in some stage of seriously dating, preparing to get married, or recently married. I just want to share some short and sweet tips for a long and happy marriage from an article my mom sent me last week:

"Over the past six years in Cornell University's Legacy Project, we've collected the advice for living from more than 1,200 Americans (most age 70 or older)."

These are the "...top five tips these "wisest Americans" have for people striving for a long and happy marriage:

1. Marry someone a lot like you: Similarity in core values in particular is the key to a happy marriage. And forget about changing someone after marriage; the elders say it just doesn't work.

2. Friendship is as important as romantic love: Heart-thumping passion has to undergo a metamorphosis in lifelong relationships. Marry someone for whom you feel deep friendship as well as love.

3. Don't keep score: Don't take the attitude that marriage must always be a 50-50 proposition; you can't get out exactly what you put in. The key to success is having both partners try to give more than they get our of the relationship.

4. Talk to each other: Marriage to the strong, silent type can be deadly to a relationship. Long-term married partners are talkers (at least to one another, and about things that count).

5. Don't just commit to your partner, commit to marriage itself: Make a commitment to the institution of marriage and take it serisously. Seeing the marriage as bigger than the immediate needs of each partner helps people work together to overcome inevitable rough patches.

Many respondents in our surveys had been married 40, 50, and even 60 or more years. They've experienced all the ups and downs marriage brings, so their advice is worth listening to!"

-Karl Pillemer, Cornell University

Source: Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune